All Go

Hello everybody.  I am a bit stunned.  I'd better tell you what's been going on.
Missis told me on Monday that she'd decided to sell Hugo.  He will go to Nicky Hunt's yard for a couple of weeks, to be schooled, then she will compete him and advertise him for sale.  He is going on Sunday.  John and I will be out fence judging, so at least it gives Missis time to recover a bit before we get home.  I am quite upset by this, as you can imagine.
But then the second blow came today.  It seems they have decided to let Lyndy go as well.  Missis sold Fudge to a dealer (a very nice dealer, I think) called Sally.  Missis has obviously been discussing her predicament with Sally, who has said that she has someone very interested in Lyndy and Missis has agreed to let him go (which she must have planned, to have rung Sally in the first place). 
I am absolutely devastated.  I love Lyndy so much and he is such good friends with Zak.  It serves me right for getting attached to someone else's horse, doesn't it?  I considered saying we'd have him, but to be honest, by the time I've mucked out in the winter I've just about got the energy to ride Barnaby (plus I lunge Zak 3 days a week).  Plus Barnaby is very much a one-woman horse and doesn't like Lyndy at all, and would hate me to ride him!
Obviously we are very worried that Pongo and Missis won't need/want us here if there are no horses to do.  I asked her and she said it's absolutely essential that we're here, a) because I have the boys after school anyway, but also just to have someone about the place when they're not here, which is quite often, as you know. 
Of course, I could look on the bright side, as I'll now only have my horses to muck out in the winter, which is a big bonus.  Missis has said she'll advertise for liveries, but I don't think she's really thought it through.  I mentioned today that if she goes ahead with it, liveries will expect some lockable storage for their tack.  I didn't even mention rug storage and a feed room.  (We keep our tack locked in the house).  
She did say today that if we have liveries they won't use our showjumps (which is John's main worry), but at the moment I am the only person that poo picks the fields and I'm not doing it for other people's horses.  I also level the manege, which will have to be done more often, won't it?  I don't mind cleaning the trough out as I do that for my own horses anyway. 
It is so quiet and peaceful here that it will be odd having virtual strangers about the place.  I don't really want people who smoke (but it will have to be made clear at the outset that people can't smoke on site) and I hope we get some nice people who don't swear and steal other people's stuff, as that's a side to livery yard life that I definitely don't miss.  You have to remember that the whole point of coming here was that this isn't a livery yard.
But it's not going to happen over night, is it?  Lyndy is going on Tuesday.  I've got the farrier coming at 1pm, so it'll be a strange and hectic day.  I think this Sally might want to try Lyndy out as Missis asked me if I'd hack out with her, which isn't a problem.  Maybe she won't think he's suitable?  Who knows?
And then of course, the really big, immediate problem, is that only our two horses will be left.  This is going to cause problems when I want to ride Barnaby out as it will mean leaving Zak on his own.  And even worse will be if John wants to ride Zak out, as Barnaby will go ballistic.  Marvellous.  But I'm not panicking as I think John isn't going to ride Zak until he's completely better.  His wound is not an attractive sight.  So maybe we'll have a livery by then.  It's either that or we'll have to get a field companion.  John actually suggested this himself, much to my surprise.  I wouldn't mind a little 13.2 that we could take to shows! 
So I feel very strange this evening.  I feel as if someone is taking my horse away, which is silly, but there we are.  I keep wanting to go outside and make sure Barnaby is still there.  I feel sorry for him too, because he loved Max and he went, then he loved Polo, and he went and now he likes Hugo (albeit a love-hate relationship) and now he's going.  I suppose, as long as he's got Zak, he'll be fine, but this will make them more inseparable than ever. 
Missis has said we can have her stables if we want.  I might consider it, as they are bigger than ours and Zak's stable is really a bit on the small side for him, plus he'll be out of the doorway and a bit more sheltered.  But I don't really want Zak and Barnaby to be able to touch each other as they'll mutually groom and Barnaby will pull all of Zak's mane out like he did to Max ("I haven't got a mane - you shouldn't have a mane!")
So I feel very unsettled at the moment and am going to drown my sorrows in the most enormous bar of Dairy Milk I've ever seen.  It's either that or a bottle of wine, and I'm not a big drinker and don't really want to wake up with a hangover. 
Thanks for wading through this mega-post.  Your comments are, as always, much appreciated.
Jane